New Year’s Resolution-Chapter 6
Date: 9/18/2019, Categories: Novels, Author: victor21, Source: LushStories
New Year’s Resolution-June Journal entry-I've had many questions going through my mind the last couple of weeks and honestly I don’t have any answers right now. Hopefully after finishing writing in out and exorcising some of my thoughts on paper, solutions will show themselves. First, how is the relationship with Molly and my kids progressing? MJ and Erin are the most important people in my life and even when they leave the nest, that won’t change. If Molly’s feelings for me are as strong as mine for her, another talk with the kids will be needed. I assumed Erin would be the one keeping an arm’s length from Molly; wrong. I know Molly is making an effort at getting to know Erin. But the connection between our daughters have made it an easier process than would be otherwise. MJ, on the other hand, has been polite and respectful. Thinking about it, he has been a little distant to not just Molly but also Erin and me. The anniversary of Diane’s death may be the cause that has been keeping him surly. I’ll give it another month to let him work it out and if he can’t, a “come to Jesus” talk may be needed. The second is a continuation of the first; how do I feel about Molly? When I was with Lisa my feelings were adolescent hormones and all physical. Diane was an instant attraction but the love grew through a steadily increasing burn. Molly just exploded into my life and we’ve been throwing gas on the fire since. Three different women with different reactions have me unsure of my next steps. And those steps are going to be important ones not just for me but for all those I love. All those I love includes Molly. I am in love with Molly. How is that for a kick in the ass? And what do I do about it? Do I tell her and see if she feels the same? I’m not sure if this is the best month for this to come out. Let’s put that away for now. I hope I will know when the time is right. I have a hard time with the idea of Molly having sex with those that I consider friends, close friends. Over the past five months I have shed blood, sweat, and tears, literally, with these people. How am I going to get over the fact that Molly has danced the mattress Mumba with not only Heidi but the rest of the group? And sometimes doing it with more than one at a time? Yes, I know that what I am saying is a crock of shit. Have I ever fantasized about having two women at the same time? Let me see if I still have a heartbeat and a penis. Yep, still have the parts. And how sexist it is that I can have that fantasy, but feel uncomfortable with Molly to have hers with two men? Again, I think it would be hot to watch Molly having sex with another female, though watching two men does nothing for me. I’m not a homophobe but I am a hypocrite in this case. To sum up: MJ is acting remote for reasons unknown, Erin is making a new friend in Patti, I am in love with Molly but uneasy picturing her with someone else, and I’m a fraud about how it will affect us. -=- June 1 I can’t wait until the weekend. ...